Wednesday, November 29, 2006

мσσиℓιgнт ѕнα∂σω

Today, i had my last exam for the year. Its over, and i dont wana think about what im gona do when i get all my results back with fails. Im scared, but id rather not think about it atm, and deal with it as it comes. Im so sleepy, the past two days i woke up at 4:30am to study and left home at 6:45 to get to uni at 8. Then had exams at 8:30. I am so tired and sleepy, and on top of that i am extremerly sick. Im on antibiotics for a really bad cough and swollen tonsil. =(
My brain has so many thoughts in it, but im too sleepy to deal with any of it. I need to write a list and organise my thoughts so i can have a stressfree holiday. Maybe ill just read a book that i borrowed from the library when i was tryin to avoid studyin. Procrastination is an art in which i am skilled.
Hmmz, anywayz im tired and confused, and too many thoughts to write down right now.
Till next time, Samantha
xoxo

Monday, November 27, 2006

Guilt & Sickness

Feel so guilty, havent studied at all yet. and i have two exams, on tues and wed. i hate uni, i dont wana do any work, i cant wait till the holidays. i just realised i wana b alone on new years eve, i plan to go somewhere isolated, and lie down in a park with my ipod alone. Thats how i plan to spend it. i dont wana be with people i dont want to talk to anyone, i just want to be by myself. update. went iceskatin, movies (borat), maccas yesterday. Spent friday, drivin round parra, church st maccas a few times, roxys, krispey kremes n maccas in livo.

Sunday, November 19, 2006

Let's waste time chasing cars

Today, i worked with my aunty, i cant believe how physically tired i am. Just about 12 hours non-stop work, with barely even 5 minutes break to sit down. Atleast we finished on time. The picture on the right is the finished result sorta. its hard to see, but tthe main table area has material on the roof, the main table has fairy lights n stuff, there are bamboo sticks with butterlies on it, and on the roof as well, and i did the two pots of trees. Hehe dont they look like real pot plants? They really are, two large empty sorta hard plastic brown pots, full of this stuff startin with O, and heaps of single branches of this type of plant. And i had to stick them inside the special things and make them stand, and spread out like a tree. Do they look good? Hmmz anywayz today i had to put knives, forks, spoons, napkins, plates, 4 different types of glasses, tealights (candles), table numbers,and all these other things on about 53 tables, which equaled 530 people. Plus i had to do some chair covers n ribbons. Below, you can see an aerial view of some of the tables.

yeh, so that was my day. Long and tiring. And my cousin Shane may have broken his pinkie finger while decorating this cruise ship with my mum!. Damn poor him. And i got to see Joe who i havent seen in ages. Aww he came to work when he had a date. Then his gf got pissed off at him for doggin her coz they were meant to go to a bbq together. lol
Yeh and i really really wana dye
my hair blonde, and i found a pic of my perfect "dream hair" its over there ------>
a few people have told me not to go full blonde, but i dont see whats wrong with it. I dont really care if it doesnt suit me, i just want a change. I dont wana be who i am anymore. Whats wrong with bein blonde? i reckon its prettyful. Just wonder if my hair will look like her hair, coz its so straight, and i luv the cut as well. Not sure if i can have the exact thing. Oh wellz, maybe ill become a gradual blonde.. Dunno. Any
ideas?
hehe, im so bored, just waitin to see if anyone interestin comes online at this late hour.. bleh okz.. Enough babblin tonight
Samantha
xoxoxo

Saturday, November 18, 2006

"Hello, my name is borat. Pause. Nooot"

hehe, omg Borat is so extremely funny!! i did not stop laughin throughout it, except for maybe a little disturbing scene, involving naked men on top of each other, coz i got a tiny bit scared. But omggg so funny!! Loved it!!..
so today, i woke up, at 1:30 after a bad dream about a father n son havin a car crash then dying. But then they turned into ghosts, and i was one of the ghosts, and we were trashing some house!. woke up, went to pick up Nat and diana from school. Came home. Then went to pick up amanda from Livo station. Came home for like 1 minute. Then went to a car auction, but such a rip off. They were old cars selling for the price they came out as. Nonone was even bidding, so funny. The auctioneer kept giggling coz no1 was buyin anythin. then i came home. Got ready, left with my sisters embarking on a journey to see Borat. I put petrol, and yay nothin bad happened this time. Then went off to search for culture club in fairfiled, where i was to pick up Ashton. Lol. then we drove quickly to make it to the cinemas at 10:15. We got there with 3 min to spare. But the line was so long. It was so packed. We finally bought our tickets. Went upstairs. Then the lady refused us entry!!! omg i felt like crying so much. She said that we need parent supervision for my cousin n sisters coz i was only 18 and not a guardian. We went downstairs after asmall debate and argument, and asked to return our tickets and all the food we bought lol. The food returning was funny. But the guy who took the ticket, remmebered me from when i bought them and asked if i told her i was 18 n stuff. then he went to talk to someone. And he came up with us, and told the lady who seemed like the manager, that we were allowed in. Yay. lol but it was so bad coz we all felt like shit by then, but as soon as we walked in, we didnt miss anythin, cinema was packed. But we found four seats at the back row. Yay we were so lucky, good seats, and didnt miss a minute of the movie. Anywayz, i really recommend it. Its so satirical and so funny. I actually found myself feelin sorry for Borat. awww... and ewww. and hehehe.
"My suit is black....
........
........
.......
NOT!"

lol.. poor chicken and bear.. and pamela anderson.
ok ok enough now.. gota sleep, have work tomorrowz with my aunty.
Goodnight, sweetdreamz
Luv Samantha xoox

Thursday, November 16, 2006

¢яαѕн

Today my mum woke me up at 1 coz i had a phone call. It was Prameeta, yay what a good way to be woken up. Lol =) It was good talkin to you, i feel bad i havent called you in ages. I went to Fairfield, and bought some dvds n stuff.. then went to pick up my sisters. Then i went to pick up my cousin and we went to the movies at stockies. Santa Clause 3, it was a good cute movie. I love christmas movies. Tomorrow i have to go to an auction with my dad at around 6.. then gona go pick up my cuz, and take him n my sisters to the movies to watch Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan. Hehe session at 10:15pm at stockies, if anyone wants to come =) cant wait, wanna see it so much.. its so funny. Omg i bought family guy season 1 and 2, soo soo funny.. Oh watch "Crash", its so good. Its sad, and a little disturbing but it leaves you thinking.
"It's the sense of touch. In any real city, you walk, you know? You brush past people, people bump into you. In L.A., nobody touches you. We're always behind this metal and glass. I think we miss that touch so much, that we crash into each other, just so we can feel something."
- opening lines of the movie. Its really deep and meaningful, i recommend it to everyone =P
anywayz msn has been annoying me so much, coz it hasnt been workin too good. Emailing is an ok alternative, except it takes to long, and you get sleepy..
Anywayz, thats enough.. Just wanted to update.
Bye byez
Luv Samantha xoxo

Sunday, November 12, 2006

ѕтяιкє συт

yesterday, my mum woke me up around 8am. Then again at around 10. Then i woke up at 12. Spent the day playin games, and watchin movies. Then at 5:45, left the house, dropped my mum n nat off at my cousins house. Then went to Austral to drop of amanda at some guyz party. Then went bowling for annas bday. Yay it was so fun. Played two games, in the first one i came second n then i came last. lol. oh yeh, and i won a free game for gettin a strike. I like bowling. After lots of people left, i took shelly home. Wow she lives so far away.. not really far. but seemed far coz of that one long road. and she said i was actually an alright driver. Yay =). then i went to pick up my sister, except i missed the turn-off.. maybe on purpose. coz it was too early to pick her up. So i went to kfc n just sat in the car for awhile, called her n asked her if she wanted to go home yet. She didnt, so i went to the party n decided to bum there for a bit. Omg so many goths/punks/emos/people dressed in alot of black with bands on them. Hehe. I saw Ferraris, Rhys, and matthew.S. hehe no wonder jason didnt go to annas! he was good, hadnt had one thing to drink. But every1 else were kinda gone... My sis was a lil tipsy, so had to wait around till her friends went home n she settled down a bit. Felt so out of place coz i was wearin like a yellow dress, next to about 50 ppl in black. But dw jason tried to get me inside the conversations by talking about trees, that conversation lasted a whole 10 seconds. Cameron was so drunk it was funny coz he didnt know he was, i told him to go eat n drink lots of water.. Hehe i felt like a mum. I had fun yesterday. Woke up at 11:55am today, the time ive been waking up this past few days. 11:55am, because 12am doesnt meen 12 noon, it means midnight. And ive made that mistake many times before, and slept in till about 1 or 2pm.. =S I better change my sleepin patterns, been sleepin around 3am.. or later. and waking up late. Not good for me at all.. =)
Anywayz, my hands are sore now from too much typing and playin games, and bowling..
Luv Sam xoxo

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

му ℓιfє αѕ α qυσтє...

Jean Paul Getty once said: Going to work for a large company is like getting on a train - Are you going sixty miles an hour or is the train going sixty miles an hour and you're just sitting still?
Am i in life moving with it, or am i sitting still while life moves leaving me behind??

Sunday, November 05, 2006

вυт ιтѕ вєттєя ιf уσυ dσ...

On tuesday went bowlin.. Wednesday got my ps, went stockies, Thursday went stockies.. Belinda got her friend to request songs 4 me haha funny, Friday, uni, Krispy Kremes, mounties, Saturday Fairfield, Livo, Parra.. Sunday home..
Hmmm,,, im so like bleh atm.. its so weird.. finally got my laptop hooked up wirelessly.. so good.. stuvac is this week.. i duno whats goin on these days with anythin. i dont even know how im feeling.. like my brain isnt even working.. i duno how im livin each day.. ican barely remember what i did today.. thats y i wrote down a quick list of things just so i can remember 2moro.. i hate forgetting stuff :S
I cant explain what im thinking, or feeling.. but i wana run away.. i dont wana face anythin. i have exams comin up. so much pressure and stress for 4 days.. not even 12 hours altogether. Why? Why? whyyy?? I dont wana study.. i just wana go out... i wana sit and play games and watch movies without feeling guilty..
i wana go out, i wana pierce my nose or tongue or chin or get a tat.. i wana drink n do drugs n be bad... but i wouldnt... ever..... arghhhh...... stupid moralities and responsibilities..!!!
there are so many people, and so many things that ive been avoiding. and i dont care. and i dont want to care. and i duno if what im doing is right, but i dont want anyone to tell me that its wrong. why cant i do somethin without people questioning me? why does everyone fake interest, when it doesnt even matter. why cant i write how i feel because im afraid i will be judged? why cant i say what i think without thinking twice? Why does being honest cause problems?
----------------
"Sometimes it’s easy to feel you’re the only one in the world who’s struggling, who’s frustrated or unsatisfied or barely getting by. But that feelings a lie and if you just hold on, just find the courage to face it all for another day, someone or something will find you and make it all ok. Because we all need a little help sometimes, someone to help us hear the music in the world, to remind us that it wont always be this way, that someone is out there. And that someone will find you."
Im still waiting for that someone...

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

fяєєdσм

yay today at 10:05am.. (well just after 10:05) i got my Ps.. yay :D
i put petrol for the first time.. it spilt all over me.. i felt like crying.. and still do.. how embarassing
my cuz david proposed to his gf katarina.. so cute.. congrats to them :)