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i HATE feeling like this. It was hard to pin-point the exact emotion i feel. But i figured that its jealousy. - a feeling of jealous envy,mental uneasiness from suspicion or fear of rivalry, unfaithfulness, etc. I spent most of the day thinking. I HATE competition. I hate being the same as someone else. So when someone does something or wears something that i have or do. Then i feel uneasy about it, and try to change. So i spent like an hour bitching about my jealousy or annoyances with my sis. So now i feel a little stupid blogging about it. But ok heres a hypothetical situation which i need a solution to. If my cousin wants to go clubbing on saturday, with some uni friends, Belinda (who is her friend now i guess), and my cousin from England whos here now.. do i go? even if i really hate clubbing. And the one organising it, knows this. And like i duno. i just dont feel invited completely. i was only invited outta politeness, or the need for someone to drive them around. I duno but i really wanna be stubborn and not go. Just coz i wont be comfortable and i wont have any fun. But i dont wanna miss out >.<
I feel sorta alone atm. I dont even have anyone to play a game against =( i want new friends! dw i still love all my old friends. But i need to meet new people. I really do. I need someone who knows everyone, and who lives around here. whos house is always open to bum and has cool stuff to do all the time.
im just so angry all the time. at stupid stuff too. like just little things piss me off.. and it all comes down to jealousy.. or competition. Some people like to play life as a game. And they have contests over stupid things. They copy u, but then take all the credit.
grrr ok i have an exam on tuesday. i HAVE NOT studied yet. i feel guilty... lala la so distracted coz ive been bitchin bout this crap to everyone else.. i sorta forgot i was in the middle of a blog AGAIN.. so ill just finish it now i guess..bye bye

40 Days and Counting

40 days till melbourne!! woohoo i seriously cant wait! Yay its gettin closer.. have exams soon.. after that prepare for melbourne.. even thought its only a short trip like 4 days or whatever; its gona be really good to get away.
my cousin said that when you feel down u shoud stick your tongue out n say "bears are brown", and it should make you feel better. ive been needing to use that these days. just family stuff you can never get away from. Hate is a strong word. But i feel it. I cant help it. Just is how it is.
On friday i had the worst day at work.. I kept hittin my shin on the ladder.. and now i have a massive bruise that looks so ugly.. Also after movin all the stock onto a shelf... one of the shelves decides to break.. so i take the stock off that.. then i notice that the whole shelving thing is coming outa the wall!.. so everythin was gona fall over ... so i had to take everything off it.. and stuff fell on top of me.. it was just horrible.. I wana tell them that the amount of time i have to finish the stuff i have to do is not enough.. but im still on trial and i dont wana give them the wrong impression. But seriously, the amount of work i do.. in the time allocated. Its heaps.. its stressful.. But oh wellz.. i guess its still good. its better than not working.. and id rather be stressed than bored...
hrmm and ive been watchin episodes of gilmore girls.. and im down to my last season.. with only 2 discs left, which will finish by tuesday at least.. i need a new show to watch.. any ideas? somthing interesting.. romantic/comedy type. similar to gilmore girls.. or even somethin like OTH or Veronica Mars.. hrmmm...
Anywayz my connection is really pissin me off.. so i better stop writin incase this thing decides to say "cannot find page"
Bye Byes xoxo