Sunday, January 18, 2009

Used to be

i went fishing last night at a few beaches in wollongong. Got back at 8 this morning. It was fun.. Got to see the sunrise. Its weird how it was only some hours ago but feels like a lifetime ago..
For some reason today has been an odd day. I feel how i used to feel.. Or not really. Its hard to explain, but its like im actually feeling and not bloking. Maybe its coz i didnt get much sleep and its harder to close up.. But it hurts.. And i vowed to never feel like that again but i am and i cant control it.
I just wish everything was how it used to be and not so complicated. I wish that i could just let it all out and forget everythin thats happened. All the arguments and pain.. Regret and tears. What was the point if nothing is fixed. Its just a bandaid.. Its like what u want and what you do contradict each other.. Its confusing.. I know what i want.. To be how it used to be.. But better.. We should be able to learn and grow continually gettin better - not learn,stop and retreat.. Its too confusing..
You used to be................. ... .. .

Friday, January 09, 2009

welcome 2009

im blogging on my phone.. I just found out how to use wireless internet on my phone.. yay that means i can go on the net when im on my break at work.. Anywayz its a new year.. I feel new. Like i had an epiphany.. Ive realised what i wanna do.. But i cant just snap my fingers and make changes.. Its all gotta happen over time... Im goin fiji in june.. Yay :) hrmm anywayz this is taking heaps long to type on my phone.. Will update when i get my laptop fixed..