wishes

To Do List:
Make a Wish List and not just a To-Do-List

If my heart could do my thinking, would my brain begin to feel?

Things change in life. They make you see things differently. Big issues that once were are now minuscule.... My grandmothers been in hospital for a week and 3 days and she isn't getting better. I guess in a way its good that its just a mental thing and not a physical thing... but its still hard. Ive only been to visit her once.. and i couldn't handle it. Is it wrong that i don't want to visit her? I cant stand to see her like that. I cant without crying. and its not like she is unaware of us. She sees us, she knows us.. its just like shes drunk. She remembers everything. I just cant do it. I don't have enough strength. I've been avoiding it because every time i think about it i want to cry.
More things change in areas of perception. Once you saw something in a certain way.. then something changes... or happens.. and it makes u see it in a different way,, This new perception changes the way u feel... and these new feelings are scary because it can affect everything that once was... How are you supposed to deal with it? What are u supposed to say or do?
I dunno the answer to anything. Im getting really tired of helping when i cant help myself.

anamnesis

anamnesis - the recollection or remembrance of the past; reminiscence.
I had a really really really boring day. And i emphasis the word BORING, I think i expected to much, and when my plans didn't turn out the way i wanted i just got bored. My boredom led to my thinking, and my thinking led to my reading of past blogs and such. I found this document about me talkin about something that happened, and it looked like i had directed it to someone. I dont remember the situation but i do remember the person.. I cant believe how i felt. Reading over that brought up old feelings, and i just remember how hurt and confused i was...
I was reading my blog from exactly one year ago, there werent alot of posts last year. maybe coz i had a life... but maybe because that was the year i decided not to be a drama queen and share all my feelings to the rest of the world.. But anywayz, reading the posts i had written i could just remember the feelings.. I dont ever want to go back to that place....
I think though i might be heading there again. To acting like the stupid girl i once was. The bored one.. The one who complained over stuff for no reason... ok maybe i did have reasons. But i dont want to dwell on those issues. I am not a "hippy" because i like to ignore certain issues in life. I just dont ever want to feel as bad as i have in the past. If thats selfish, then let it be. My guard is always up, and no one can enter. To be honest there are alot of things that i think about and even though i talk alot... i tend to ignore them. If you ask the right question u will get the right answer.. You just have to be clever in that way. I wish i had someone that really understood where i was coming from. Somone who doesnt judge me and take what i feel as "bad issues" as stupid drama queen stuff... I hate that i have no1 to connect with.. and ive been beginning to feel it more and more lately...
I dont know how to fix the problem and this kind of causes more confusion.... I think i find something, but then "anamnesis" reminds me again that i cant trust those feelings, that im just going to be hurt again. I need a hero... lately it seems like ive had to save myself...

disconsolate ♥

Disconsolate: Seeming beyond consolation; extremely dejected: heartbroken, dejected. 1, 2. sad, melancholy, sorrowful, miserable.
I'm scared of feeling like this...Lately.. I've been thinking alot about something. In the moment it seems like something i would enjoy one day. But then when i think about the effects it could have; - its kinda scary. Its like i want something but that something can end up ruining everything and could leave me feeling disconsolate. Sometimes i want to act upon the feelings, but then my mind wanders and i start thinking again and i STOP.
Today me Prameeta & Steven went and had pizza, totally spur of the moment... and it was really nice. I had a uni info evening thing to go to.. but i just didn't wana go.. I sat in my car for 20minutes before i walked inside because i couldnt make a decision if i should go to uni or not. If i didn't go maybe there was a chance i could just hang out longer. But in reality i just went inside, went to my room and sat in the dark lol...I honestly don't know why im at uni.... I always choose life over it. I leave early. I leave assignments last minute. I cant be bothered. I want to because inside i know its right, but the other half just wants to have fun. I want other things. I dont want uni to become my life. and only my life. Its so stressful...I wish i had other things.... I guess i just have to wait, sort out my feelings and figure a way to choose the right decision over what i really want.

Bored & Ignored

bought a car like 2 weeks ago. its kinda sad that my Volvo is sitting there by itself all bored and lonesome. Just like me lol..Maybe someone should drive it. I guess its just gona have to wait.
So Hong Kong is officially happening 5-18th July. Yep...

I know I'm kinda strange, to you sometimes
Don't always say, what's on my mind
You know that Ive been hurt, by some guy
But I don't wanna mess up this time

And I really care
And I really want you
And I think I'm kinda scared
Cos I don't want to lose you
If you really care
Then maybe you can hang through
I hope you understand
It's nothing to you

Confusion

Rainer Maria Rilke once wrote: Have patience with everything that remains unsolved in your heart. Try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books written in a foreign language. Do not now look for the answers. They cannot now be given to you because you could not live them. It is a question of experiencing everything. At present you need to live the question. Perhaps you will gradually, without even noticing it, find yourself experiencing the answer, some distant day.

Overkill

I can't get to sleep
I think about the implications
Of diving in too deep
And possibly the complications

Especially at night
I worry over situations....

....

acrimony

I'm so angry and hurt and about a million other things. Every time i think about anything i just get a rush of emotions and get confused. I feel really lost. I haven't felt this way in ages. I have so many things i need to do. So many thoughts. I cant control any of it.
Yesterday my car broke down in the middle of the road at a traffic light. I wanted to cry. It was really embarrassing, coz everyone kept asking if i needed help. And i was really worried about what was damaged. I was scared someone would hit my car coz i was in the middle of the road waiting at the light and it wouldnt start. This incredibly gorgeous guy came over and asked if i could move my car. Lol he was so cute.. I drove it down to the hungry jacks and he walked over and looked at it. Even though by that time my mum was there as well. He turned out to be a mechanic and he told me that i had a hole in my radiator. hehe i kinda think that he was lookin for a job but it was still very nice. Anywayz my dad brought my car home this morning and im gettin a mechanic to fix it tomorrow. Argh but it probably wont be fixed till about tuesday. This whole day ive just been really upset about my car. These past few weeks my car has been getting "sick". I think someone jinxed it, probably me. I kept sayin how even though it was ugly atleast it worked. But my bumper bar is fallin, my left blinker doesnt work, my car fills up with water on the right passenger side floor, my speedo hardly works, my cd player wont play my cds and now i have a hole in my radiator. Lucky i had today off work.
Today i had no work. Thats why ive had alot of time to think and dwell and get angry. Im waking up to whats happening around me. Ive been avoiding alot of things. Work has kept my mind off life. I have so much things to do before Christmas and i don't know where to start. I need to go to the doctor and get that thing off my face. Heaps of people have noticed it now and im getting really self conscious about it. I also need to get my second cancer shot thing and get my ear checked up from last time when i didnt go back. I have to go to the dentist. I need braces. I need to make appointments at my beautician for various waxing and my fake tan that i wanted to get. I need to get my hair done. Either straightened permanently or styled or wateva. Plus my sisters bday, i need to help organise that and get her a pressie. Not to forget xmas either. And then there comes around new years and i need to plan that.
I need to figure out whats going on with my family. Coz atm im not liking and have this anger toward some of them. Why do people turn around the anger to make it your fault. I know im not the only one who sees what she does but why am so annoyed? why do i care? grrr i hate it.
Catharsis - the purging of the emotions or relieving of emotional tensions, esp. through certain kinds of art, as tragedy or music. I need to vent.

Cognitive Dissonance

Cognitive dissonance is a psychological term describing the uncomfortable tension that may result from having two conflicting thoughts at the same time, or from engaging in behavior that conflicts with one's beliefs. I finally have a term that explains how i feel all the time. Even writing this, i have this feeling and conflicting thoughts. Should i write about how i truly feel? Should i forget about it? Arghh everything is driving me crazy.
I am sad. But I am busy which makes me happy i guess. I'm so confused. I think i'm stuck in a rut. I'm living in the past. Or just hovering, waiting patiently for my life to start. But nothing is happening. And i'm waiting like an idiot, hoping for something. But i've given up. Now im just confused as to what i should do. I feel like maybe if i just crawl into a little hole and sit there and be a hermit crab all my problems will be solved. But then my other thoughts or what i would tell other people, would be to get out and fix my problems. I'm just so sick of helping everyone else out especially in my family, to get little or no thoughts from anyone else, I'm so sick of being second in everything. I'm always losing out in all aspects. I'm sick of being alone. I know what i need to fix me, but i just cant be bothered anymore. I'm sick of it. Theres nothing i can do about it. I hate waiting. And i don't know how to fix it. I don't have the resources. I just give up. I have given up hope on the fairytale. I just want anything. I don't care. I don't wana be good anymore if it means i'm left with nothing. The problem is i don't know how to be bad. I don't know how to change. What to do. I don't know. I hate people of the way they treat people and their actions. But at the same time, i envy them. For the ability to be so cruel, to be so devilish or wateva u wana call it. I envy people for just having a life, for talking to their friends, for living in the now and the future and not in the past or the 5minutes ago. I thought that being who i am, being good has its rewards. But reality proves that it doesn't. I don't know what to believe anymore. I don't know how to act or what to do anymore. Thus, my cognitive dissonance.

Champagne for my real friends; Real pain for my sham friends

Today i had an assignment due at 6pm.. I started and finished it in about 8 hours.. and it sucks so bad.. I'm really embarrassed about the quality of it.. but at least its done... Dreading the results, but there is no point on dwelling on it now. Even though i have another like 5 more assessments due soon, i took the rest of the afternoon off and had the longest shower I've had in ages.. and i painted my nails a sexy red colour..
I was thinking alot about aims and goals.. and realised i don't have any.. I mean other than finish uni... I don't have anything i want to achieve. So i started thinking what i want done by the end of next year.. I aim to lose weight.. Maybe about 10kgs. More if i can. Get braces. Finish uni, at least with a credit average. I would aim higher but i am being realistic. Im gonna have a killer graduation party or maybe just keep it crazy 21st, I'll see how it goes.. I want to learn an instrument/skill/join a class. I was also thinking i want a boob job.. hahaha and by the time I'm 30 i want to be a millionaire.
Oh yeah and i was thinking how my old high school friends are now family to me. Even though i don't get to see you, talk to you or go out with you guys. I'll always be there and i think that even after not seeing you guys for like 10 years or something, i'd still feel comfortable around you. So if i haven't seen you or spoken to you guys in ages, dw your my family ill never forget about u :P *insert awwww* hehe

ok The End.. <3>

вυѕу αѕ α вєє

So, this is week 6 of uni. Wow, already. I can't believe how fast its going. I've been so busy. I had 3 assignments due last week, and i got 1 due on Wednesday. Ive been working about 3-4 days a week. Work is good, I've been getting more responsibilities and more hours.. If only i didn't have assignments I think i would be pretty relaxed. But my assignments and stuff takes away all the spare time i have. Its really annoying.. I don't have time to go out at all. and I'm so bored. and tired. I just want to go out, and not feel guilty about my assignments. I just wanna have fun. I guess its only a year and a bit left.. But still.. I dunno if i have the patience. I would love to be working full-time. Only because once you leave your workplace you don't have "homework". So the time i spend at home will be guilt free. Grrr... I dunno. I'm just bored and tired and its only getting harder. It just seems that in life, one person cannot have everything. family, friends, work, money, love, health etc. In life, i think that your only ever able to have about 2 or 3 at one time. Or maybe its just me.. I feel incomplete. *sigh*
Can't wait for Justin Timberlake's concert! It's gonna be sexy! <3 yay

spiderpig, spiderpig

Spiderpig! Spiderpig! Does whateva a spiderpig does. Can he spin a web? No he can't, hes a pig! Lookout! Its spiderpig! Haha i saw The Simpsons movie last Friday.!! Wow so much has happened recently. Let me update.

• Haircut//yukky fringe and dyed darkish brown Thursday 19th July
  
• Melbourne Trip Sunday 22nd-Wednesday 25th July
• Friday saw The Simpson Movie-Saw Akansha there! <3
• Sunday Iraq vs. Saudi Arabia final soccer Asia Cup. Woohoo Iraq won!
• Tuesday i.e. Today Uni started again!! I have uni on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursdays.
  

Obviously, heaps more has happened, but they are minor details in the bigger picture. Throw in work over the past few weeks. Oh and my cousin from Englands been here. Over quite alot. Hrmm... Nat got her hair perm. straightened. Errmmm... yah.. little annoyances mostly from missing my friends, or having the lack of time to talk to them, or hang out. But ive been too busy to actually dwell on that. So yah i guess all is good. Gona go read Harry Potter!. Omg ive been so busy that i havent been able to finish it. If i had time, i would have finished it in a day. But i can only read a few chapters at a time. =( I'll finish it eventually. Till then, noone can tell me what happens!

bored in life

yah.. im so bored with life atm, mainly coz im not sure where i am right now. Ive been workin, and just finished uni for the semester. But i feel really outta place.. Like i dont know what im doing anymore. I think it might be because ive been really busy in the past few weeks with exams, and my cousin from england being here, and i take her out n stuff.. So im sorta outta my old routine, and maybe thats caused me to start thinking alot. But yeh.. i dont really know what to do anymore. and i dont want uni to come back. I just see everythin as pointless. Like uni, work and all that stuff. and i have no idea what to do with myself. I just need a change. And like it doesnt help that i feel alone as well. I hate feeling this way. But i always get like this when im bored. I dont really understand how i can be bored when im so busy. But thats the only way to explain it.. I just need a purpose.. a reason.... maybe an aim.. a goal.. but i dont see anythin in the future. and im just here doing nothing. Pointless.

נєαℓσυѕу

i HATE feeling like this. It was hard to pin-point the exact emotion i feel. But i figured that its jealousy. - a feeling of jealous envy,mental uneasiness from suspicion or fear of rivalry, unfaithfulness, etc. I spent most of the day thinking. I HATE competition. I hate being the same as someone else. So when someone does something or wears something that i have or do. Then i feel uneasy about it, and try to change. So i spent like an hour bitching about my jealousy or annoyances with my sis. So now i feel a little stupid blogging about it. But ok heres a hypothetical situation which i need a solution to. If my cousin wants to go clubbing on saturday, with some uni friends, Belinda (who is her friend now i guess), and my cousin from England whos here now.. do i go? even if i really hate clubbing. And the one organising it, knows this. And like i duno. i just dont feel invited completely. i was only invited outta politeness, or the need for someone to drive them around. I duno but i really wanna be stubborn and not go. Just coz i wont be comfortable and i wont have any fun. But i dont wanna miss out >.<
I feel sorta alone atm. I dont even have anyone to play a game against =( i want new friends! dw i still love all my old friends. But i need to meet new people. I really do. I need someone who knows everyone, and who lives around here. whos house is always open to bum and has cool stuff to do all the time.
im just so angry all the time. at stupid stuff too. like just little things piss me off.. and it all comes down to jealousy.. or competition. Some people like to play life as a game. And they have contests over stupid things. They copy u, but then take all the credit.
grrr ok i have an exam on tuesday. i HAVE NOT studied yet. i feel guilty... lala la so distracted coz ive been bitchin bout this crap to everyone else.. i sorta forgot i was in the middle of a blog AGAIN.. so ill just finish it now i guess..bye bye

40 Days and Counting

40 days till melbourne!! woohoo i seriously cant wait! Yay its gettin closer.. have exams soon.. after that prepare for melbourne.. even thought its only a short trip like 4 days or whatever; its gona be really good to get away.
my cousin said that when you feel down u shoud stick your tongue out n say "bears are brown", and it should make you feel better. ive been needing to use that these days. just family stuff you can never get away from. Hate is a strong word. But i feel it. I cant help it. Just is how it is.
On friday i had the worst day at work.. I kept hittin my shin on the ladder.. and now i have a massive bruise that looks so ugly.. Also after movin all the stock onto a shelf... one of the shelves decides to break.. so i take the stock off that.. then i notice that the whole shelving thing is coming outa the wall!.. so everythin was gona fall over ... so i had to take everything off it.. and stuff fell on top of me.. it was just horrible.. I wana tell them that the amount of time i have to finish the stuff i have to do is not enough.. but im still on trial and i dont wana give them the wrong impression. But seriously, the amount of work i do.. in the time allocated. Its heaps.. its stressful.. But oh wellz.. i guess its still good. its better than not working.. and id rather be stressed than bored...
hrmm and ive been watchin episodes of gilmore girls.. and im down to my last season.. with only 2 discs left, which will finish by tuesday at least.. i need a new show to watch.. any ideas? somthing interesting.. romantic/comedy type. similar to gilmore girls.. or even somethin like OTH or Veronica Mars.. hrmmm...
Anywayz my connection is really pissin me off.. so i better stop writin incase this thing decides to say "cannot find page"
Bye Byes xoxo

I'm not dead!

Wow ive been soooo busy, havent been able to blog. Well lets see. Ive been workin like everyday this week. Its pretty good. Kinda tiring. I have uni, then straight to work. Then i come home and eat and shower and then do a bit of uni work. So busy. But yeh.. On friday that past, i went to Pink's Im not Dead Concert. It was really really really really and so on GOOD! Shes amazing. Shes funny. Sings live. and it was really cool. like i cant explain it. Even though our seats were a little bad. It was still amazing. lol it was funny. like i went with kathryn becca and a few of her friends and we were seated in twos all across the stadium. So me and kathryn probably had the worst seats outa everyone.. we got there at7:30 and decided that it looked empty.. so we moved to a closer seat.. so we had a great view for the opening band who were the androids by the way.. yeh and then at 5 to 9... the ticket seater usher person shinned her light at us.. and goes "i think ur in the wrong seats" lol how embarassing.. the stadium was packed. every single seat was filled. and at 9.. Pink came out!! omg we missed seeing her upclose by 5 minutes.. but it was still really really good! Her songs are amzing and meaningful.. yeh anywayz enough sayin how good it was. lol
Well anywayz.. lucky i have weekends off.. except i cant really do anythin this weekend coz i have an exam on monday.. then on tues gota major group assignment due.. plus i have work all next week.. lol oh wellz..
hrmm yay me and anna are gona go to melbourne on the 22nd -25th of July.. I cant wait!! its gona b so cool! yay =) woohoo
65 days and countin !

yay

i got a job.. im workin friday 11-4, monday 2-5 and wed 11-4 hehe.. metrogirl in ffld. ohh noo i cant go out on wednesdays with anna anymore.. i guess afternoons are good... lol and im screwed got assignment due on tues.. i planned to do it on friday.. n monday.. but yeh.. i dont wana fail again..hrmm.. oh wellz.. hrm wana email some1 from the past. duno if i should though. i probably will do one of those things where u do somethin spur of the moment.. and 2moro wake up realise how stupid it was.. and regret it.. oh wellz.. lol i duno.. the things i do when i procrastinate lol

Clueless

Im upset atm, i duno why. I just noticed and this sounds so stupid but i realised that .. i cant even explain it. But like if i talk to someone for a long time... then if theres a fallin out.. then i never talk to them again. Like a few guys in my past.. never speak to them now... But then i realise other people who also spoke to them, still do. So why is it only me? Its not that i dont want to talk to them. i really do. but why dont they talk to me? Obviously i should maybe approach them, but its been way too long. I guess im just jealous that im sorta left here alone and my past is sorta forgotten. I dont even think these people remember me. That totally sux. and i have no idea why they dont talk to me anymore. Never had any arguments.. just drifted i guess. and its happened alot.. like maybe more than 5 guys or wateva. why? whats my problem? Do i make guys feel awkward? and like even at uni.. this guy was avoidin me coz i talked to his bro (he might not even be related to him)? Well recently his bro hasnt come online as much.. and then when i saw him round he kissed me hello n acted normal again? huh? like im totally confused...
Today, i was annoyed and i duno why. I was supposed to let steven know if i was gona go hang out with him or wateva.. But the thing is i didnt even know when or where he was plannin to go. I told him that i would let him know coz anna was gona sleep over n i didnt know what i was gona do.. So he msgd me at 12.. but i didnt get it till close to 1.. I had just woken up and anna had just left to go to work when i actually read it.. and yeh.. he seemed angry at me that i hadnt let him known if i was comin or not. fair enough. but what got me annoyed or wateva was that how was i supposed to know when i should msg him if i didnt know when he was goin. So if he was at lunch at 1, when i received the sms. and if he sent it at 12.. well wouldnt that mean he had already left or was about to leave to go? Steven if u read this clear it up, coz theres no point me bein annoyed coz ur annoyed at me for no reason or a misunderstanding... Grr ive just had too much time to think lately.. and ive been upset about alot of little things.
im also annoyed because ive been hanging with my sister heaps. thats not the problem. i honestly have fun with her and her friends. and ive been goin to parties and meetin new people and all that.. makin new friends.. they arent all younger than me some are our ages.. but the thing is.. like once they find out we are sisters.. everythin goes weird.. and then they all become closer friends with amanda.. and then what kills it is that they start referring to me as amandas sister.. for example, someone calls them and asks who they r with.. they reply.. im with blah, amanda, amandas sister, etc.... so i become separated as someone whos just a tag along and a bum. then i start gettin all frustrated coz amanda keeps tellin me they love hangin with me, im fun and all that.. and she tries to reassure me that they like me as a friend as much as her ... but i know or i can tell that im her sister. and ive been forced to hang with them coz i dont really have alternatives.. and my sister constantly teases me about not goin out much and all that.. its not my fault! grrr.. i wish i could go out all the time, and i didnt have to organise stuff. oh and like i reallly do like all the parties and people and stuff.. but then i cant always be myself. i have to be the older sister. like im the designated driver most of the time.. so im stuck not bein able to drink... and that sux.. but i duno.. and my sister tries to help me relax n make it better.. but yeh.. last week or week b4. went to party in my lil neighbourhood section so i had a drink, coz i can either walk home or wateva.. but the party ended coz parents got pissed, and this guy we met invited us to go over his mates house.. and i kinda forgot i had a drink, but i followed him to like fairfield/wetherill park area.. and i seriously was so nervous when i remembered i had a drink... and the guilt i feel... lucky i didnt get pulled over.. i had fun.. but it would have been more fun if i hadnt been worried about driving while i had had a drink. and also the guilt of comin home late.. it kills me.. if i was out bymyself i could stay out all night and come home at 7am without my parents caring.. my dad cares more about my sister, and it has nothin to do with age.. my mum told me once its coz he thinks shes easily persuaded and pretty stuff. so yeh we got home at 4am from this other party and since then my mums been makin us come home at "reasonable times"
anywayz the dilemma is that theres a party on saturday of the guy who invited us to his mates house.. so we only have known him for 2 weeks.. but like we hung out n stuff the other day and hes mates with like my sisters friends n stuff.. n he told us to sleep over.. so i can drink.. like how nice to consider my fun'ness.. but yeh.. i duno if i should.. should i be the older sister and not drink... and like just have fun sober.. stay as late as possible n go home.. or should i go, and drink.. and who knows.. and stay the night.. lying to my dad where we are? i dont think id be able to drink even if i didnt have to drive home.. id still feel responsible for everyone else... hrmm.... i duno....
Ok.. hrmm do u think u can be friends with someone who doesnt trust you? And can u trust someone who u dont really like or arent friends with? Just somethin to think about i guess..

snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes

Lalallalala I have a bad case of Mondayitis "'Mondayitis' or "having a case of the Mondays" is a feeling of weariness and apathy" For the past few weeks i havent been going to my early lecture on Monday mornings. I feel so bad, but i go to the tutorials. The tutor is so confusing, the whole unit is a waste of time. No one understands a thing, i dont like it. But oh wellz. I just feel guilty about not turning up. But i like sleeping in. Especially since the weather has cooled down. I love it, its so relaxing! I wana wear my new cork heel boots hehe but i duno where to wear them to, and im not too comfortable wearing boots coz i just never gotten into them. I realised my whole fashion has changed. I now wear shorter dresses and skirts, and its pretty cool. I still dont have a style but i like being versatile. I like being in moods and being able to sorta pull of certain looks. I cant stop eating Starburst Chews. They are so yummy! haha hmm anywayz gona go watch some tv :D should be catchin up on work =S butttt *blames mondayitis* lol.. and maybe ill invent tuesdayitis and wednesdayitis as well.. lol anywayz gona go be a couch potato!

Stress is when you wake up screaming & realize you havent fallen asleep yet

grr so annoyed atm i hate being ungrateful, but like its so annoying. the lack of thought into it makes it worse. i wish i could be happy about it but i cant. i feel like a really selfish ungrateful person. Grrrrrr. lol.. and like what am i supposed to do when someone puts someone else in a position where they have to do soemthin for them. as soon as these two people stop being friends, or when they realise that they are being used and stuff then im gona be left with all the blame. and whats with everyone avoiding stuff with people. like get to the point. if u have something to say, say it. get over it. i am not being fake i am being who i am. ohh and like why do people tell other people to tell me things whats the point. just tell me. grrr... and why do people complain about things thats happening to them, when they causesd the same thing to happen to me. like none of any of what ive written makes any sense. but bleh. like argh why dont people just get to the point, tell every1 whatgs on their minds, get it over with, and move on. blehhh!! if everyone walks around keeping it inside them then when a person actually says anythin they are the ones who hav issues. just so annoyed atm. but ill get over it. maybe..