the one where i didnt know how 2 turn thoughts into words...

my mind is racing, and im feeling so much.. its so overwhelming that i just want 2 cry and let it all out.. except i dont know the reason.. im just wastin my days.. doin nothing.. yesterday we went for dinner with a these 2 families at marconi club.. and we took the kids to the game room.. its like galaxy world or sumthin.. and they were looking for staff.. so finally gettin the nerve 2 ask some1 for an application i got 1.. and i really wana apply for it coz just imagine how fun it would b.. i asked my mum and she said ok but i had 2 ask my dad.. and of course he said no.. he said that people who work dont study.. like omg wat an idiot.. argh i just hate it. he doesnt want me 2 be independant.. he does that 2 every1 in my family. as soon as some1 wants 2 do somethin benefiting themselves he always says no. arghhh the frustration and annoyance! its becommin unbearable.. the confusion is drivin me crazy.. and the complete boredom as im always doing nothing isnt helping.. i tried keeping busy, doing puzzles, reading, playing games, watching movies.. but when does watching every episode of Friends, and reading the same novel 3 times enough? how is keeping busy ever gona 'keep me busy' if ive become bored with that as well.. :S i duno what to do.. and the whole uni thing, the timetable, units, electives.. like wtf does it all mean? im so confused.. and i dont even no if im enrolled coz the stupid table thing disappeared..! arghh how am i gona register 4 tutorials.. its so bloody confusing.. and i dont even no wat the hell ive actually been enrolled in.. me bein stupid didnt even pick any subjects/units/electives.. (i havent established what means what..) oh wellz.. if i was meant 2 be at uni then it should all work out somehow.. (hopefully)..
anywayz i guess another episode of one tree hill before i go 2 bed and read another really old childish book.. i gota go library or a bookstore.. all the books ive got at home r so old.. the last time i bought a novel 4 myself was prob in yr 6 book club lol.. yeh oh wellz..
goodnite and goodbye
Sam xoxo