іиfатчатіои

Infatuation, crush, fixation, folly, foolishness, madness, obsession, passion, thing.... watever word you use.. i have it.. :'( i went to bed last night and started thinking... overthinking.. and then i realised i do have feelings for someone.. and its so sad.. i cant handle it.. i cant like anyone atm its wrong..and to make it worse the person isnt even interested.. i go online to see if hes on only because when i talk to him he always makes me smile and feel better.. its so wrong.. he has his own life his own interests his own girls and problems.. and here i go making him one of mine and he doesnt even know how i feel.. he treats me so nicely.. hes so cute and caring.. i get mixed signals from him and i dont know how he feels about me.. as a friend or more.. or i duno.. but then i see him talkin to me about different girls and then i know that he isnt interested in me in the way i would like it to be.. i have this overwhelming feeling of sadness because i know what i want i cant get.. and i hate being like this.. he just came online right now.. changed his statues to away n then went offline.. atm im appearing offline because i dont feel like talking to anyone.. dont get me wrong i am happy.. its just that deep down what i really want isnt there.. ive noticed ive tried alot of things to get his attention.. it works.. it always works.. he always talks to me... but.. i cant explain it.. i can tell hes always distracted by other things in his life.. hmmz.. i havent felt like this about anyone in a really long time.. and i dont like it.. :( i thought having crushes was fun but its not at all.. since ive realised that i actually do like him ive started feeling worse about it.. and i feel awkward at times.. when i talk to him now im scared that i might say something that will give him a hint or clue how i feel.. and i sorta hold myself back.. i cant even remember how i used to talk to him.. its so weird.. :S i feel alone.. i dont think anyone understands how i feel.. im scared to talk bout this to some people because i dont think they'll take me seriously..
You took my heart I must confess
Deep in your eyes
There seemed to be a look that said
Hello, is it me you're searching for
Suddenly my sunshine turn to rain
I dunno if it'll ever come back again
Thats what you are sunshine and rain
You didn't say you had a man
That never belonged within your plans
And it hurts so bad
Someone tell me
Why are all the good girls, taken everytime
And why do I keep falling for Someone else's dime
Everytime I says Hello Then they say Goodbye
So why are all you good girls Taken everytime......
Good Girls - Joe.. if u substitute the girl into guy thats how i feel... even though this person isnt actually taken or has a girl physically or wateva.. i know that his heart belongs to someone else :(
btw... woke up at 5:00pm today.. 15 hours of sleep.. no idea whats wrong with me :( hmmz my blogs r always sad.. sorry but thats the only way i cant get rid of these depressing feelings so i can be happy on the outside...
anywayz anyone have any thoughts please comment.. i need help :S
mwahz xoxoxo