ive been sittin here for about 10 minutes.. lookin at this empty screen.. i have so many things in my head i have to write... umm its christmas day..
today i spent the day at my mums older brothers house.. its tradition every easter n xmas we go there 4 lunch.. bout 30 of my cuzinz n aunties n uncles go.. its good coz its like the only time we are ever all together.. reunion..
anywayz i just went to show my mum my arm.. i think ive been bitten by about 3 mozzies.. i have this red line on my skin coz i itched it alot..
hmmz.. im so distracted.. its 10:53 now..at the moment im downloading winamp so i can install this other thing 4 my desktop.. 3% dl... haha cant wait 2 c it
my cuzinz been over here since sunday nite.. she went home last nite.. i was at church yesterday.. so bored.. i walked around this girl until my feet died from wearin my pointies.. arghh i have no idea y i wore them.. or y i even bought them.. $110 just 4 shoes ive only worn about 4 times :S a waste.. i wore like black pants n this new white jacket n a blue top.. i looked so "lady like" haha so funny.. i was a girly girl 4 a few hours..
i duno if im a girly girl.. or a girl or a tom boy.. or wateva i am.. i think i would call myself 'comfortable' i walk comfortable.. i wear comfortable clothes.. yesterday my feet killed so much i took off my shoes n walked around in stockings.. hahaha oh wellz no1 could tell.. my pants cover my feet..
i hate it wen people class other people.. as either girly.. or a tom boy.. y do we have 2 be classed.. and if we change into sumthin else it becomes a big deal.. and if u try a skirt on or sumthin thats meant to be "girly" we r learnin this from another person.. they influenced us? we copied them? its not like u were the 1st person 2 walk a certain way or talk a certain way.. y do we have 2 b like u? y do we need that sorta attention? do we need that certain look for certain people to like us? y do we have 2 change for others?
changes... a year ago my life was so different.. i wish it was still the same old routine.. im in yr 12 now.. im in a new stage of my life.. met new people.. some good.. some not.. been in new relationships.. made new friends.. got new responsibilities.. new situations.. new problems..
these new relationships.. become old ones.. and new problems come from them.. y do u feel as though ur over some1.. and then sumthin happens n they come bak into ur life.. and blame u for certain situations which led 2 uz not talkin anymore? wen it was actually there fault.. them avoiding u.. and they dont have the guts to admit it.. and they just go on livin there life with this lie.. shifting the blame onto some1 else... and then after all that they go and make up lies about havin a different relationship with some1 else at the same time as u 2 some1 else... u no its not true.. u no that they makin it up 4 some reason.. maybe to make themselves sound cool or sumthin.. but u cant comfront them or tell them theyre rong coz ur not meant to no.. and then y after all that do u feel u need 2 msg them merry xmas? wen its like y would u wana b nice 2 some1 like that?
hmmz... wat else.. feels like im talkin 2 myself..
oh yeh... my doggy died :( he went missin in the mornin.. and then wen the lawnmower kids came 2 mow the law.. they opened the side gate and some strange dog ran in.. we didnt no it was psycho.. we thought it was our neighbours dog.. but we were missin our dog.. we duno where he went or how he got out.. but anywayz.. this strange dog was really quiet n hardly movin.. sleepin alot.. the next mornin i woke up around 2pm and my mums like he died.. it was psycho most probably.. and our neighbours said it was probably a snake or lizard.. and the scary thing about that is that just b4 i woke up i had a dream about snakes n cockaroaches.. snakes apparently bring evil.. or sumthin.. and its like my dream came true.. :( that whole day i was so sad.. i ended up cryin later on but it was over sumthin else.. just built up inside me.. it all came out..
i feel a bit better tonight.. and pretty good.. in a long time.. but who noes how ill feel tommorrow.. my moods a rollercoaster :S
anywayz thats enough bloggin.. nite nite
xoxoxoox
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