hmmz..remember when i was young?

arghh.. why wont i do anything? every1s finished there hsc.. well not everyone.. but it seems like everyone has.. and im stuck with business in another 2 days.. or is it 3.. i cant even count anymore? somethings wrong with me.. i cant concentrate.. i cant think.. i cant even do simple things.. my brain is depleting.. im STUPID! i feel really dumb,, yesterday was my dads cuzinz cuzinz son's birthday lol (i just threw that long list as a joke haha.. nahh but seriously thats how we r related..) his names Kaizar... n hes sooo cute.. he has like a lil mohawk. and omg its so cute.. it naturally stands up.. ohh wait ill put a picture..

aww how cute.. hes blowing a kiss.. hes a cutie.. he just turned 1.. btw thats cake in his hands.. he was feedin himself.. got a lil messy
anywayz at his party my cuz took us 2 his comp n made us play who wants to be a millionaire coz there was nuthin else 2 do.. and i felt so dumb i didnt no anythin and one of my other cuzinz who was like 12 knew heaps more than me.. :(

anywayz today i bought my friend a birthday pressie and shoes 4 the formal :( lol im so stupid.. i really wanted 2 go shopping with every1.. but i couldnt wait.. i really wanted these shoes.. ohh i wana go take a picture of my shoes.. hold up.. lol...

anywayz.. there not all that.. but i luv them.. theyre so cute.. they were $140 and they came in this white box with a cute luv heart on it.. and inside the box was another small white box with a luv heart and inside that were extra soles for the shoe 2 replace them in case they wear out.. omg i luv shoes... they're so fun.. and its ok. there not that dressy and they dont need to be coz my dress covers them.. so these shoes are versitle and i can wear them anywhere i want.. :D omg like im excited about shoes.. am i a girl or what?
i remember when i was younger i used to be so scared that people would think i was a guy.. thats why i would emphasise my earrings.. coz earring meant that u were a girl.. and i always tried to look like a girl.. i always wanted long hair.. it was as though i feared that people would think i was a guy coz i acted like one.. now. that i sorta look like a girl.. (i guess) i mean i got a girly figure.. *giggles* lol (immaturity) yah.. i get annoyed.. lol omg hav u seen that ad about those little girls and they all like put on bras n stuff.. pretendin to be older.. wantin boobs.. and it goes 'remember when u used 2 be excited to find change.. now it could save ur lives Breast Cancer sumthin' lol.. yeh anywayz my mum goes to me ohhh i remember when u used to do that.. and i was like wtf no i didnt.. and after she thought about it awhile she realised i didnt.. lmao.. my mum was livin in a movie lolz.. i used to always be so embarassed.. and yeh cover up alot i didnt like changes.. haha.. im a girl now..
im gona be 18 :'( lol.. its still young but yet so old.. and its gona happen so soon.. but it seems like forever.. and now i seem to be rambling on about who noes wat... so i betta stop..
bye byez
sam xoxo